I am a Lola...

... grandmother in Tagalog (Filipino) and I just published a children's picture book!

I became a grandmother early this year and wow, the excitement unlocking this level is a different kind of happiness. And I’m finding myself on reflection. A lot.  Like I’m wondering if my parents (at the time when we had our first born) thought to themselves: “are they mature enough?, do they actually know what they’re doing (becoming parents?)” Because boy am I thinking that. LOL. Even though my daughter is older than when I had her.

Maybe it’s a generation thing. That we feel that we’re not necessarily better, but more aware and therefore conscious of the choices we make for ourselves and our kin.  On the other hand, the generation after us (I am GenX) are more forward thinking and they are somewhat more unbiased with societal changes.  But all that aside, it is a ray of sunshine to have that tiny voice of laughter, cries and blabber in our home when they come around. I watch my daughter in admiration as a mother, in this day and the current world we have. The late nights, the endless diaper changes, the early morning cries. I have forgotten how challenging it is to take care of babies!

Grandparenthood has evolved significantly especially in this digital age. During my time, I looked up to my grandparents Tatay and Inay as authorities in the family. Decision makers and guardians of traditions and rituals. There were strict rules when we stayed with them during the school holidays. Although there were no chores, there was a routine. Eat breakfast - play - come back for lunch - play - merienda - play - dinner. All grandchildren should be at home when the church bells clang at 6pm. It signals oracion - when the church community and the priest leads the evening prayer, blaring across the plaza.

When I had my first born, we lived in the city, and we would visit my parents in the province every so often or they would drive to Manila for a catch up. My in laws were close by but on both sides, there was no expectation to do typical grandparent duties. The lifestyle of working parents in Manila is supplemented by hiring yayas (nannies). And before we moved to Australia, we had three lived-in yayas. It’s really an economic necessity and a norm to help with child care and household tasks. And due to labour dynamics and high population, people seek job opportunities which are limited in the rural areas. An entirely big topic that needs to be dissected and studied.

Now that I am a Lola I reflect on the way my grandparents raised me/us. As migrants, the role becomes unique and significant. I now see myself like Tatay and Inay, custodians of traditions and the bridge between two worlds. As first generation migrant, I feel the weight of being the intentional grandparent, ensuring Filipino customs and values, traditions and heritage are kept, and connection to identity is strengthened. It’s a tough gig, but so is parenthood. I empathise with my daughter as she takes on motherhood in this digital age - distractions and noise telling you what to do, where, how, etc. But we are hands-on grandparents, so we are ready to guide and provide support, and wisdom! Because I’m pretty sure, the experience of uprooting family, starting and learning to live and assimilate in a new country, raising four daughters and everything that came with it has taught me lots of life lessons worth sharing.

And now that announcement…

If you’re following me on Instagram and you’ve read my previous posts, you will know that I recently embarked on a life-changing pilgrimage - My Camino Journey. Below is an excerpt from my IG reels about my new adventure as a children’s book author!

Anyone here read Big Magic? It's one of the books by author Elizabeth Gilbert after her Eat Pray Love success. The theme of that book is all about creativity, self expression and trust. I read that book a hundred times. And I still keep coming back to it every now and then.

The overarching message of Big Magic is when something, an idea or a dream that keeps coming back to you, you need to grab it! Do what you can to nurture it. Feed it. Embrace it. Own it.

This idea came to me on the second day walking the Camino - the many tiny snails that crossed my path during those days of mindful walking. I thought it would be a great idea for a book. That big magic haunted (in a good way) me each day that I saw a snail crossed my path. I even had a name for it. I would imagine it perched on a pilgrim's backpack, or traipsing along a fence, sitting on top of the many way markers. When I got back from that trip, that snail was still in my head. In my dreams. And so I sat down and wrote a story. I played around with the illustrations, looked for a way to self publish it, read it out loud so many times, edited, re-read, showed the girls and Alfie. I read books on writing children's books. Borrowed so many children's books from the library to read and to learn. What makes sense for a young reader? Should it rhyme? What rhymes with carry? Once I had the story down pat, I recorded myself reading it and would listen to it during my daily walks. In the evenings, I go back to it again and again. This tiny snail started with a dozeon names, then finally a name stuck.

Ladies and gents, meet Nana, The Tiny Slimy Pilgrim!

For your kids, nephews and nieces, grandbabies! Even for yourself! It's a story of being curious, taking adventures and having faith. For future pilgrims!

Lots of people asked me how was the Camino, what did I get out of it. I've been asking myself that question since I came back. I still don't know. Or maybe I do! To my fellow pilgrims, this is our story!

The Tiny Slimy Pilgrim is available in both print and e-book.