Around the Filipino table

First submitted for publishing to Kitchen Mama Mommy Mundo in 28/22/2018

A study of evening campfire conversations in the 70s, by University of Utah anthropologist Polly Wiessne of the Ju/’hoan people of Namibia and Botswana suggests that “by extending the day, fire allowed to unleash their imaginations and tell stories, rather than merely focus on mundane topics.” The study also suggested that story telling allowed human ancestors to widen their minds and reinforce social networks. These days’ homes are installed with modern and grand lighting fixtures, where the power of the flame is reproduced.

But storytelling doesn’t have to be around a campfire. It can be around the bench top in the kitchen chatting while chopping some tomatoes, reminiscing about meals eaten during trips while sipping coffee and sharing a cake in the veranda, sharing food inspiration from social media during dinner time at a restaurant. In a Harvard study that spanned 80 years, professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School found surprising evidence that our “our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health.” Conversations connect us with our inner self, and creating that sense of community is one of the biggest factors to good physical and mental health. And the dinner table is where it starts.

We are lucky to be part of a culture where family takes centre stage and gatherings are a regular event. Around the Filipino table, we replicate what our ancestors have been doing for thousands of years — sharing food, listening to family fables, meandering stories and tall tales. I sat at these tables as a young kid and listen with intent and disbelief at folklores told in animated tones, suspenseful and filled with colourful creatures, as if they jumped out of a fairy tale book. Wide eyed and curious, there are no questions or logic. Only wonderment and awe. But the modern family is amiss of this ritual with gadgets replacing human interaction and weekday dinners are sparse because of the dynamics and busyness of our day-day.

In this digital age, kids have easy access to technology and will ask validating questions — “why, how, where, is that even true? “. And while stories can be curated from the internet, the telling part is what’s worth embracing and preserving. Conversations around the dinner table are a ritual that we need to keep as parents, as humans.

Living overseas, traditions and rituals are hard to imprint to the younger generation. We miss the big family parties and gatherings which start from lunch and extends to merienda, then dinner, then after dinner drinks and if you’re lucky, a round of karaoke. Seated around the table, the stories intermingle with the past and the present, as Titas and Titos share memories from “back in the day” and the younger generation fill in the gaps with talks of current fads — fashion, technology, social media and even the latest K-drama celebrity. But we don’t need big gatherings to keep conversations alive. Kids these days are overloaded with information at their fingertips, they’re socially aware and in most instances they even know more than we parents do. All it takes is one question to keep the telling of stories going. What’s on your dinner table? Tell your kids why Lolo makes that dish every special occasion, where Tita learned to make those kakanins, tell them the time you spent your summer holiday in the province exploring in the local ilog and wandering until it’s time to go home for dinner. Our culture is rich and colourful, our history and culinary heritage is embedded in our identity as descendants of indigenous tribes, Spanish colonisers, Malay and Chinese merchants and American influencers. There is a lot to talk about. Start around the dinner table. Turn off gadgets. Create connections, make conversations, encourage questions and tell tall tales.